Dealing with conflict productively
Proactive versus reactive conflict management
Proactive conflict management involves anticipating potential conflicts and addressing them before they escalate. Signs of proactive management include regular team check-ins, open lines of communication, and a culture where team members feel comfortable sharing concerns. Leaders who adopt a proactive stance foster a culture of trust and collaboration, enabling team members to voice concerns early and reducing the likelihood of conflicts arising.
Reactive conflict management, on the other hand, occurs after a conflict has already surfaced. Indicators of reactive management include addressing issues only when they become disruptive, resolving conflicts in a crisis mode, and dealing with heightened emotions. Leaders who rely on reactive strategies may find themselves constantly putting out fires, which can erode team morale and productivity over time.
Productive conflict handling process
1. Preparing for productive conflict
- Deal with the conflict privately, on neutral ground.
- Begin with a clear intention to find a mutually beneficial solution. For example, open with a statement like: “I’d like us to focus on finding a solution that benefits both of us.”.
2. Engaging in effective communication
- Highlight any areas of agreement before addressing disagreements to create a collaborative atmosphere.
- Focus on the problem, not the personalities involved. If the other party tries to focus on personal differences or blame, try saying something like: “Let’s focus on the problem at hand, not on personal differences or blame.”
- Remain respectful and positive at all times.
- Use active listening skills:
- Ask questions and elicit open-ended rather than yes/no answers. Open-ended questions help draw out the other party and help identify the real cause of the conflict instead of just the symptoms. For example: “Can you help me understand your perspective on this issue?”
- Listen, and use body language to show you are listening.
- Periodically paraphrase what the other party has said to show you have heard it and to check you have heard it right. For example: “To ensure I understand you correctly, let me rephrase what you’ve said.”
- Don’t interrupt the speaker.
3. Reviewing and exploring alternatives
- Collaborate to generate a range of possible solutions. For example, ask: “Let’s brainstorm a range of solutions and evaluate how each could work in practice.”
- Assess each option for practicality, impact, and its ability to address the conflict's core issues.
- Gather feedback from all parties involved to refine options and reach a consensus on the best solution.
4. Agreeing on next steps
- Restate the highest-ranking solution and the action plan to resolve it, with responsibilities and time frames. Be as specific as you can.
- Agree on follow-up activities and dates to ensure progress. Be positive and praise progress.
- The best outcomes of conflict occur when all parties feel they are the winners or share in winning.
- “I win/you lose” outcomes should be avoided unless quick, decisive action is needed. If the other party seems intent on “I win/you lose,” challenge them to explain why one party should win and the others should lose.
- For example: “How does this approach align with our goal of finding a solution that works for everyone?”
Fiorella, L., & Mayer, R. E. 2016. The impact of written communication on retention of information. Educational Psychology Review, 28(1), 73-92. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10648-015-9338-4
McQuail, J. A. H. 2010. The role of engagement in effective communication. Journal of Communication, 60(1), 165-180. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1460-2466.2009.01467.x
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